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28th August 2016 

SPEECH PAINTER PAINTS ROOM ROSY WITH LOTS OF LAUGHTER AND FANS

August was a great month for Write Angle as The Townhouse was filled with lots of excited fans, anxiously awaiting their favourite guest performer, Speech Painter. He's been getting around the UK, performing and gaining fame through his books, poetry, singing along with the very talented guitarist/singer,Will B' and Kylie, (who couldn't make the gig) – and now, as ever meeting new challenges, he's added his skills on the harmonica! 'What next', we ask ourselves?

And as he's 'just starting', the determined Speech Painter, had the audience hysterical laughing, at his efforts. Whether 'off key' or 'on key', he showed he's a Star!

Starting with his 'take-off' on 'Cat in a Hat' (by Dr Seuss)– his 'Twat in a Flat' – story of Mandy, her partner, the 'wise' cockroach and the twat upstairs (who thrives on drugs – especially roaches (aka dope) - not to be confused with the cockroach. The landlord is after them for owing past rent and the twat upstairs makes every effort to get them to take drugs to 'forget their troubles' but it's the cockroach who convinces them 'it's not the answer'. The book has already sold over 1 million copies (whoops – not 'Twat in a Flat', but 'Cat in a Hat') and Speech Painter is trying to raise his sales to match Dr Seuss - but it's not for the kids! The book is very cleverly written with Speech Painter almost perfectly replicated the one vowel, two vowel etc, words – that Seuss used – the man's a genius! (Speech Painter, as well as Dr Seuss!) No wonder he's doing so well, he already has a fan club!

Following that, his latest book, 'Bedtime with Geoffrey', an 'adult Dr Seuss', inspired by David Lynch, his 'favourite film director', had him dedicate a poem to Lynch. 'You murdered all those teens. You make my stomach churn, you are darkness, Mr Lynch, and all that heavy breathing behind those closet doors' – and 'you have a thing for Nicholas Cage!' the audience laughed. Speech Painter's timing is spot on- and he has the audience in his grip throughout his entire non-stop, performance! He now wants to write a musical – What's the book about? 'Let's face it. It's meant to be filthy', he smiles devilishly, looking round the room. 'It's about when someone wants you to go to bed with them and you never will….'get Zack in the sack!'

Admitting his 'terror of the harmonica' - even writing a lyric about the anxiety of playing it in public - didn't stop him singing and playing it, along with the fabulous guitarist/singer, Will B, in a series of songs. After 'Intoxication Honey',(Speech Painter explained how you don't put beehives next to rhododendrons – as they poison the honey). Known as 'the very first form of chemical warfare', when the enemy hoards would come into a village, they'd eat the honey and fall into a coma for a very long time! (don't even think of trying it!)

Songs, on the theme of the road, (less deadly), followed; 'Hitch', Sheldrick Road', (one you might well leave, humming), 'Harmonica Song Motel', with Speech Painter breaking in, intermittently, with his 'dreaded' harmonica, always leaving the audience laughing. Will B added his lyrical voice and style, providing all good fun. The audience loved it! What instrument next, we all wonder!

Meanwhile, our open mic brought Chris Sangster forward with poems from his book, 'Now We're Coping'. 'Every new thought, every song, every sense we use, has a meaning... Then, of 'The Energy of Alba' (name for Scotland), his native homeland, having 'energies we may not see, but feel…Every instrument brings vibrations to the heart' Very lyrical and nostalgic. Tim Barrow asked 'What if everything disappeared...death of the pyramid..if nothing was inherited, passing things from one world to another – Tutankhamun, taking everything with him to his death. (interesting thought). Then, 'Conquest'….of the buds in summer, who will get there first? 'Magpie' followed, with Tim's clacking bringing the magpie to life! - good description of the magpie.

JeanAnne Naumcyk read, 'It's my time'. Finally retiring from work, she feels the weight off her shoulders. Is ready to take her own time when, suddenly, the family descends upon her. There's more time for them, they think - but JeanAnne isn't having it. She's off to Scotland - for good! (reality or what?) A poem dedicated to her granddaughter, Kya, 'who she watched grow from a baby and now wonders, 'will she move mountains, or what?' Colin Eveleigh then did 'Shall We Dance' about relationships that break down and 'we find a new partner too soon'. Colin suggests we 'give up the fighting, the arguing etc'. (btw, a big thanks to Colin for not only the poet he is, but for his kindness in helping out by doing videos of each performer as David was not available).

Richard Hawtree had everyone laughing as, having just arrived back from a festival in Ireland, he couldn't find his poetry, so revealed the contents of his entire suitcase on stage adding more humour to the evening! He's a 'natural' and it took an occasion like this, to bring this out into the open! He read an Irish lullaby, 'based on a medieval Welsh poem and set in Cumbria. 'Dinagad', about a housecoat and how it was spun. Lots of applause and whistling followed. (more, Richard, more!) Jake then read a poem about when his brother David and he took their first trip together, to France. 'Smelly Feet' wasn't the problem after all, as he found out, having blamed David for not washing them – but the cheese they had purchased in France!

Phyllida Carr showed Speech Painter a thing or two – with the confidence and ease in which she played the harmonica. Her repertoire growing, she played 'When the Saints come marching home' and more – the audience joined in, always adding to a more relaxed evening. Brian Lawrence then told the story of how he decided to hitchhike in Alton after many years of not having dared. A young lady stopped and admittedly, the nonagenarian was flattered – till he realised from their conversation, she was a PE instructor in the army and he wasn't exactly 'in the flower of his youth'. What did she have to lose? (Brian, we love you and your adventures!)

Jilly Funnell played guitar and sang a lovely song from her book of memoirs – about one of her favourite pubs, 'The Swan', now 'so posh, wisteria no longer winds round it' - 'where she and her sister used to go, 'in the days when they were young - so great before they 'fell out'. Then, 'Red Shoes', a song about a little girl who was miserable because she wanted red shoes so badly but she was being punished. However, it has a happy ending as Jilly's songs usually do!

It was a 'high energy evening'. We called Speech Painter to say how good he was but he got there, first! 'Great evening, wasn't it!'. He's one of our favourite performers and for those of you who haven't seen him, we highly recommend you check his website to find out where he's performing next! We promise you'll be in for a treat!

The raffle voucher for two free meals at Chichester's wonderful, exotic 'India Gate', worth £50 was won by one of our 'regulars'. She's in for a treat as well.

We hope you'll come along to our September Write Angle when we have a new performer, Joelle Taylor. Speech Painter said she was 'amazing'. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing and hearing her! The Press Release will be out soon, so you can find out more about her!


 

   
   

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